


THE HERMIT

by Imandra_Pipkin



Series: Shadowhunter Tarot [9]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), malec - Fandom
Genre: Animals, Finding rest and calmness in a monastery, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24025714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imandra_Pipkin/pseuds/Imandra_Pipkin
Summary: Some have learned to voluntarily search for silence, serenity and calmness.  Others need the intervention of the siblings for this insight.
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood
Series: Shadowhunter Tarot [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718071
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19
Collections: Shadowhunters Tarot Challenge





	THE HERMIT

**Author's Note:**

> A lone figure stands at the center of a bridge, crossing a quietly babbling stream. The only other presence on this clear and moonlit night are the will-o’-the wisps dancing along the banks.  
> Our relationships with others are important. Humans were meant to be social. We crave connection to the world around us. The Hermit asks us to eschew all of that. The Hermit walks willingly into the wilderness, beyond the reach of humanity and society, to look inward in silence and introspection. In this card, we discover that other people cannot help us, at this moment. Now is the time for finding comfort in solitude and coaxing out the light within ourselves. Withdraw yourself from the world around you and take the time to just be alone. Me. Myself. And I.

"Magnus, do you have a moment?" Dot stuck her head through Magnus' ajar office door. 

"Sure, come in." Magnus got up from behind his desk and pointed to his couch with the two colorful armchairs.

Dot sat down, placing a small folder on her lap. "A request just came in for a smaller but very exclusive fashion show." 

"Oh, that's very gratifying. Who was the request from?" Magnus placed two cups of coffee on the small coffee table.

"Sebastian Morgenstern." Dot handed Magnus the small folder with the related informations. 

Magnus frowned and glanced over Dot's notes. 

"Okay...? Where's your problem? Apart from the fact that I've successfully avoided working with him so far." 

"The fashion show is on the first weekend in May." Dot looked at Magnus over the edge of her coffee cup.

"Did you tell him I would be out of the country at the time?" 

"Yes, of course. But he insisted that you personally design the clothes and be present at this fashion show."

"If he insists, offer him an opportunity in the fall." Magnus closed the folder.

"I tried. He insists on that weekend."

"Dot, I'm not going to postpone my stay at the monastery for anything in the world. Even if the monastery might still have a room a few weeks later, which I can't assume, I have no time to prepare and organize another fashion show. I'm already leaving Saturday next week. From June to October there is one fashion week after the other. I promised Clary to design her outfit for this year's Golden Globes and the Oscars. I will work for half a year without taking a breath. Before that, I just need my time out. You know I've been doing this for five years now. No job is more important than my health. I now understand my body's warnings." Magnus put his empty coffee cup on the coffee table.

"What should I say to Sebastian Morgenstern?" 

"That the date he is proposing collides with another commitment that has been agreed for a long time." 

Magnus saw that Dot hadn't told him everything. "There's more, right?"

Dot put down her coffee cup, took the small folder out of Magnus' hand, and opened a specific page. "He even emailed a draft of the contract."

"He can't be serious! He threatens me with a five-digit contractual penalty, in case I don't submit any designs that pleases him by the requested time?" Magnus laughed dryly.

"Read the cover letter." Dot turned to the second page. 

"What kind of manners are these? Is this his way to offer someone a business? He threatens to defame me as unreliable and unprofessional if I don't agree with his bullshit?"

"He has always kept an eye on your brand. Bane is a big name in the fashion world. I guess he somehow found out that you are unavailable for three weeks in the spring and now he thinks that way he could set a foot in your door. "

"I have built my reputation through years of hard work. I don't let him benefit from my sweat and my commitment that easily. In his eyes it may be a weakness to take time for yourself, but it only makes me stronger."

Magnus closed the folder. "Give that to Ragnar. I think he'll find the right words to respond appropriately." 

Grinning, Dot took the documents and got up. "It will be a pleasure for him."

Magnus sat down at his desk again. He still had a lot of work to do. He wanted to finish as many designs as possible before banning all thoughts of fashion, deadlines and difficulties from his consciousness for three weeks.

It wasn't long before he was so absorbed in his work that he forgot everything else around him.

༺ ∘ ༻

"You will go." 

"No." 

"Alec," Izzy took a deep breath. "You will go!" 

"No." Alec continued to sort papers on his desk.

Izzy put her hand on the sheets, preventing her brother from continuing his diversion. Izzy knew that he wasn't really working on these papers, just using them to avoid the controversial conversation. 

With the most patient manner and the softest voice that would draw any toddler away from the ice cream truck, she finally caught Alec's attention. 

"Alec?"

"Izzy?" Alec sighed. 

"You know I love you?"

"My answer is still no."

Izzy took Alec's hand and led him to the couch, which admittedly was in Alec's office but was never used by him. If anyone was sitting on it, it was Izzy or Jace. Occasionally Max, but he usually sat with his butt on the armrest, his feet buried under one of the thick, soft pillows.

Izzy sat down and pulled Alec next to her so that he was sitting between her and Jace, who had been silently watching Izzy's attempts to persuade their brother.

"Izzy, I'm not going to a monastery!"

"Alec, it's only three weeks. You shouldn't be spending the rest of your life there. And nobody demands that you renounce all worldly things."

"He's already doing it here," Jace murmured just loud enough that everyone could hear it anyway.

Izzy raised an eyebrow at Jace. 

"Celibacy," Jace sneezed into the pit of his arm.

"Not helpful, Jace!" 

Alec smiled silently. If his siblings were arguing, they might drop the subject of the "monastery".

"Alec, please listen to me."

_Crap, it didn't work..._

Alec turned to Izzy and folded his hands on his knee, which he had half pulled up on the couch. He looked at her blankly. His bearing was stoic and anyone else would have given up trying to force him to do something, or even try to persuade him to do something.

But Izzy ignored his passive aggressive behavior. "No work, no job is more important than your health."

"Izzy, I'm fine." 

"Don't lie to me! You're about to burn out." Izzy got angry. "We have enough, Alec. You ignore your body's warning signals."

"You're exaggerating, Izzy."

"Oh yes? Then tell me, does anything of this sound familiar to you? Headache, chronic fatigue, inner restlessness, nervousness?"

Alec averted his gaze.

Izzy continued undeterred. "Irritability, mood swings, increasing impatience?" 

"I can definitely confirm that," Jace interjected.

Alec snorted.

"Alec, even we feel your increasing emotional alienation. When was the last time you did something that was fun? When was the last time you had your bow in your hand? You are increasingly canceling appointments with us and our friends. "

"I have work to do, Izzy, I simply don't have time. And anyway, who's been on vacation for three weeks straight? I can't afford to leave our company for so long."

"Bullshit!" Jace answered. "We are still there. We can process our customers' orders just as well as you. You just never let us."

Alec turned to Jace, whom he had turned his back to when speaking to Izzy.

A melodious jingle sounded and Jace looked at his cell phone with a satisfied grin. "And with that you have three weeks to take care of yourself."

"What do you mean?" Alec had known his brother long enough to suspect that he wouldn't like the answer. "Jace, what have you done?"

"I just received the booking confirmation. You are expected there on Monday." Jace grinned broadly. 

"I'm not leaving! You threw your money out the window for nothing." Alec grinned smugly. 

"For this reason, I didn't pay for your vacation from my account or yours, but from the company's account." Jace's grin was even more smug.

"Are you out of your mind? I'm not going on vacation at the expense of our company! Jace, you can't do that!"

"Yes, you can. I just did it." 

Alec unconsciously put a hand on his heart. 

"I know you have an irregular heartbeat. Alec, that's serious." 

Alec could clearly hear the concern in Izzy's voice.

"Dude, we are just worried about you. And we, as your valued business partners, just overrule you on this." Jace's seemed to have imprinted on Izzy puppy eyes. When did that happen?

Alec got up, but was held on both sides by his siblings and flopped back on the couch. "Your plane is leaving in five days. By then, we'll make sure that you either hand over all of your open orders to me or that we both have finished them."

"I'll take care of your clothes. I'll can finally take the opportunity to go shopping for you." Izzy laughed. "Don't worry, you won't have to bother packing your suitcase."

"You two thought it all out, right?" Alec looked from one to the other. 

"Not just the two of us, actually," Izzy admitted. "Max is also on our side. He is our last secret weapon, so to speak, in case you should have been more difficult. We were expecting your defense."

"It was his proposal to sent you to the monastery." Jace slapped Alec on the thigh. "So, no more discussions. It's all decided. You will be on vacation for three weeks from Monday."

༺ ∘ ༻

It was already late when Magnus arrived at the monastery in Andalusia. As soon as he opened the heavy front door, he felt a sense of calm, gratefully he greeted the silence.

Since he was almost something of a regular, the check-in procedure was fairly quick. Magnus fetched his suitcase and took the familiar path towards the sleeping quarters. As always, he had his room at the end of the hall. He didn't know how many visitors were currently on vacation in the monastery and therefore tried to be quiet. He entered his usual room and found everything as he knew it from his last stays.

He unpacked his suitcase and stowed his clothes in the little closet. Meanwhile he knew that he didn't need much clothing and only packed half of what he had previously taken with him.

The kitchen was already closed, but he had been given a sandwich, fruit, and a thermos with tea for supper. Magnus sat on his bed and ate slowly and measured. 

Then he went into the adjoining bathroom, removed his make-up, brushed his teeth and took a shower. He put on his comfortable pajamas and slipped into bed.

Magnus was tired from the long journey. But even though it was well past midnight in New York, he couldn't fall asleep immediately. He had to get used to the calmness again. Experience has shown that this took a few nights.

Even with the window closed, the nights in New York were never quiet. A car horn could always be heard somewhere; drunks roaring through the streets; sirens from fire brigades or ambulances blaring loudly. 

At some point Magnus fell asleep. He dreamed of his dedigns for the next men's fashion week in New York, where he wanted to make small changes when he got home.

༺ ∘ ༻

On Monday morning, Jace and Izzy brought Alec to the airport. Max actually wanted to come as well. However, this was rejected on all sides, because he shouldn't be missing in school for this. Alec and Max had said their goodbyes with pizza and a movie the night before.

Izzy had kept her word and packed Alec's suitcase, with new clothes she had bought for him.

They had checked in the suitcase and were waiting in a café for the flight to be called.

Alec used the time to discuss the outstanding orders with his siblings. Again! 

"Alec, we have everything under control. You can leave us alone with the company and it will still be there when you come back home in three weeks."

Izzy held out her bent finger for a pinky promise. Alec looked at the finger, at Izzy. He hooked their fingers and returned his sister's grin.

When Alec's flight was called, he brought the cups back into the deposit box. Jace slung the strap from Alec's laptop bag over his shoulder while Izzy took his jacket.

"You will enjoy the time." predicted Jace. 

"Exactly. You will be grateful to us, big bro." Izzy handed him his jacket.

Unfortunately, none of his siblings noticed him rolling his eyes. At check in, he hugged his siblings goodbye. He handed over his passport to the smiling woman and reached out for his laptop case.

"You won't need this." Jace took a step backwards. 

"Jace, deliver!" Alec stepped out of the queue sideways and walked towards Jace. 

"Nope! You can't do anything with your laptop anyway."

"Mr. Lightwood? Your passport, please. You are ready to board." The stewardess held out his passport.

Alec gave Jace a warning look and reached for his laptop case. 

Grinning, Jace backed away. 

"Deliver, Jace!" 

"Mr. Lightwood? Sir? Would you please move on. The passengers behind you would also like to board."

Alec had no choice but to surrender and get on the plane without his laptop if he didn't want to make a scene. What should he do without his laptop for three weeks?

Of course he had access to the company server via his laptop. In fact, even though he was forced to go on vacation, he hadn't intended to stop working altogether. His siblings knew him too well.

He was glad that he had packed a book especially for the flight. That would keep him busy for the next 11 hours. Alec got on the plane, found his reserved seat and stowed his jacket in the compartment above.

He politely greeted the older lady who was sitting by the window before taking his own seat in the aisle and

_of fucking course_

his book was in the laptop case. He would kill Jace when he got home.

His siblings shouldn't expect him to send them even a single postcard from his 'vacation'. They could forget that!

He couldn't even curse to his heart's content about his damned fate out of consideration for the nice lady next to him.

How did he deserve this? He leaned his head on the headrest and closed his eyes.

These vacations started terrific.

༺ ∘ ༻

Magnus' body quickly got used to the time change and the orderly routine that life in the monastery brought with it. His mind, however, took longer to get involved in the contemplative calm.

For him, the weeks in the monastery didn't necessarily have to do with renunciation or religion. He had found that it was good for him to take this break from the hustle and bustle of the big city and the stress of the upcoming fashion shows.

He could now regain the strength and energy from which he could draw the rest of the year. There is a lot of truth in the phrase "A healthy soul can only live in a healthy body."

As was welcomed in most monasteries, Magnus helped with the daily tasks of the monks. He liked the garden maintenance of the large park and loved being with the animals.

The monastery had chickens, several sheep, goats and three cows. On his first visit, he had watched the monks make cheese, brew beer, and make various liquors that were sold to tourists. They were welcome gifts, and Magnus brought home as much of them as the customs regulations allowed. 

Magnus went through the portico into the inner courtyard. With a smile, he greeted two monks on their way to their morning chores. Magnus didn't help with the kitchen work. He had an 'appointment' for tai chi this morning. He didn't take part in every activity that was offered, but he had signed up for a few of them as usual.

After doing Tai Chi, he went back to his room, showered, and changed. Here in the monastery he didn't completely do without make-up, but limited it to kohl and eyeliner.

The mornings were still fairly fresh in mid-April, so Magnus grabbed his cardigan before heading to the dining room for breakfast.

Even though he was in a monastery, the food was excellent. He entered the dining room and nodded to the other four guests in greeting. Little was said in general in the monastery, but there was strict silence during meals.

Magnus served himself at the breakfast buffet and sat down at a table by the window with a view of the fountain in the monastery garden. He enjoyed being able to eat with a lot of time. He missed that at home.

Often it was just a morning coffee, which he drank partly cold because he had forgotten about it at work. Lunch was mostly a sandwich that he didn't pay much attention to. When he got home in the evening, he was too exhausted to cook. Cooking just for yourself wasn't fun and wasn't really worth it. So he lived on take outs more or less regularly. 

Magnus could organize his free time himself. Although he had signed up for gardening and caring for the animals, he still had enough time to spend on meditation or sports.

He had got into the habit of integrating fixed times for meditation into his everyday life at home. It was not always easy, but he tried to maintain a certain regularity.

After breakfast he went to visit the animals of the monastery. The hard work, like mucking out the stables or milking, was done early in the morning by Brother Zachariah.

Magnus opened the gate and entered the meadow where the chickens roamed freely. Magnus was careful where he stepped, the animals in the monastery weren't necessarily potty trained.

He scanned the hens' most popular places, but this time he found no egg that the monk had overlooked this morning.

The sheep and goats were already on their own meadow. Magnus spread fresh straw in the barn and filled the hay rack. At night all animals were locked in the barn without exception.

The cows were still eating their fodder concentrate. Magnus took the opportunity to look at the calves that were born in February. He sat down on the wall that separated the stable lane from the cows' runout area and let his legs dangle. 

On his very first visit, he had made the mistake of having one of the calves suckle on his finger. The calf had been drinking from the mother shortly before and Magnus' hand was dribbling with milky mucus.

The calves were curious but careful. Magnus had enough patience to wait until they let him touch them. If not today, then tomorrow or next week.

Brother Zachariah entered the stable and stood next to him. Magnus looked up and smiled. "They are magnificent, the little ones." The monk nodded.

The monks, who were in constant contact with the guests, were released from their vow to remain silent and were allowed to speak if they wanted to. Brother Zachariah was still taciturn, but Magnus had caught him talking to his favorite cow at some point.

"Time to let them out," Brother Zachariah said eventually. 

Magnus left the stable and went to the back. He carefully opened the large gate and attached it to the wall of the stable to prevent it from closing again by itself.

The cows knew the procedure and went leisurely into the meadow. When all the cows were in the pasture, Magnus helped brother Zachariah cleaning the stable. They sat down for a moment on the wall that bounded the pasture to watch the cows.

At some point Magnus said goodbye to Brother Zachariah. He had decided to look for Brother Enoch so that he could assign him his current task in the monastery garden. He took the path that led him past the pasture of the goats and sheep that he hadn't seen today.

When he had completed his daily duties, he went back to his room to take off the clothes he had put on for this work. He freshened up, put on his comfort clothes and went into the meditation room. Exceptionally, he wasn't alone there. Quietly, so as not to disturb the guests present, he took a yoga mat and went to his favorite place in this room. He enjoyed the sun's rays falling on the spot on which he was sitting. He stayed in the room until the bells on the tower clock called for lunch.

The rest of the day was at his free disposal. In the afternoon he would take a trip around the area to visit the village that was nearby.

The first day after his arrival, he had checked whether the small café still existed, that offered excellent pastries and very good coffee.

During his vacations, he had spent some afternoons sitting in the sun in front of this café, busy doing nothing.

༺ ∘ ༻

Alec was picked up at the airport in Málaga. A chauffeur carried his suitcase to a waiting black Audi. It was already dim, so that Alec got a wonderful first impression of the city while driving, whose impressive sights were skilfully staged with lights. He decided to come back here to take a closer look at the city and the port.

It took about two hours to get to the monastery. The chauffeur opened the door of the car for Alec and accompanied him to the entrance. 

At the reception he was expected by a serious looking man in a black tailored suit. "Good evening, Mr. Lightwood," he greeted him. "My name is Brother Raphael. I am the abbot of the monastery. Please follow me to my office so that we can do all the formalities. Your luggage will be taken care of in the meantime."

Brother Raphael led Alec into a modern office. There was a desk, but Brother Raphael motioned for him to sit down at a table. He handed him an information brochure about the history of the monastery and nearby attractions, as well as a plan of the monastery so that he could find his way around.

"And this is your schedule for this week. The schedules for the coming weeks are always available on Fridays. You can pick them up at the reception." 

Alec was confused. Wasn't he here to do nothing? 

"My schedule? What for?"

"For your booked activities." 

"What booked activities?" 

Brother Raphael picked up the paper to have a look at what Mr. Lightwood had been assigned to. "Tai Chi, Qi Gong, yoga, meditation, progressive muscle relaxation and a few massages."

"Izzy!" he cursed his sister quietly. 

Brother Raphael's expression remained blank.

Alec sighed, took the flyer (Access to inner silence) and his schedule, and made to get up.

"Mr. Lightwood?" Raphael's calm voice let him sit down again. 

"Yes?" 

"Your cell phone, please." 

"What? What do you want with my cell phone?"

Brother Raphael pushed a small lockable cassette to him. "Your cell phone is worthless here in the monastery because we have neither WiFi nor cell phone service. Therefore we keep all valuables in our safe. The only key for this cassette will of course remain with you. It is a requirement of the House that cannot be discussed or negotiated."

Alec just looked at him in disbelief. "You think I'll give you my cell phone?"

Brother Raphael held his gaze with no effort. After a while, he pushed the cassette a little closer to Alec without breaking eye contact.

Alec sighed again. He had 11 hours of flight behind him, about 2 hours of driving, he was just tired and exhausted from doing nothing. Added to this was the time difference. He took his cell phone out of his pocket, turned it off and put it in the cassette.

"Your wristwatch, too."

Alec gave a short laugh. "Seriously?"

_It's that the way you keep this running here?_

"You don't need a wristwatch here. The bells will tell you the times," Brother Raphael said. As if to prove it, the bell of the church steeple struck four bright blows and nine dull ones.

Alec surrendered to his fate and also put his watch in the cassette. "Anything else?" he asked sarcastically. 

"No, that would be all. Thank you for your cooperation." 

Brother Raphael was polite, but Alec had the impression that a fine sense of sarcasm didn't seem strange to him either.

Raphael got up and went to the door. He waited for Alec to catch up with him before opening it. "Brother Jeremiah will accompany you to your room. I wish you a good night and a pleasant stay in our monastery."

Without a word, Brother Jeremiah handed Alec a cloth bag with the coat of arms of the monastery and went ahead of him to the sleeping quarters. 

Memorize the way through the halls, Alec followed him tiredly down to a long corridor. There were doors on both sides. On the left were the odd numbers, on the right the even numbers.

Brother Jeremiah pointed a door almost at the end of the hall that was labeled with the number 8.

Alec thanked the monk and entered the room where he would stay for the next three weeks. 

Relieved, Alec found his worst fears unconfirmed. Whatever the reason, he had assumed that the monk cells remained in their original condition. The room was small, but not too small. It actually looked pretty cozy. Alec placed the cloth bag and the Fleyer on the small table by the bed and looked around. Okay, there was no 'proper' nightstand, just a small table, no desk, no bookshelf.

Alec found his suitcase standing in front of the little wardrobe and lifted it onto his bed. 

Izzy had kept her word and packed his suitcase. He found only shirts and sweatpans, loose and casual clothes, sneakers, his jogging shoes and, he couldn't believe it, pajamas. The last time he wore pajamas, he was about 12 years old. 

He easily stowed everything in the narrow wardrobe, which had two drawers for socks and underwear.

He took his toiletry bag and opened the second door, which he assumed led to the bathroom. And that was exactly how it was. A bathroom had been made from the monks' cell next door.

Alec packed his products in the mirror cabinet above the sink. He frowned. Why had Izzy packed him a new one instead of his electric toothbrush? He also missed his electric shaver. What he found, however, were utensils for a wet shave. He looked incredulously into the toiletry bag.

_What the actual fuck is going on here?_

One thing Alec knew for certain: He wouldn't shave! For three weeks! Out of protest! Of course he would limit his protest to just that, he would of course use the toothbrush. 

Alec went back into the room. He was all settled in and didn't know what to do in the unfamiliar environment. 

He took the bag the monk had given him and inspected its contents. He was surprised to find sandwiches and a small thermos of tea.

Alec sat down and ate his dinner. Sated, he slowly came to rest and looked around his room more thoroughly.

No TV, no socket! He went to the bathroom again. There was no socket either. Therefore, a hair dryer was connected directly to the power supply.

_Stylish minimalism._

Alec brushed his teeth and quickly jumped into the shower. When he wanted to go back to his room, he noticed the reference to the laundry service of the hotel monastery attached on the inside of the bathroom door. Any clothes in the laundry basket in the bathroom would be returned to him cleaned. Now he realized why Izzy had packed relatively few items of clothing for three weeks.

Alec looked at one of the pajamas Izzy had bought him. It was plain, moss green with light decorative stitching. The material felt good, soft but not warm.

It could have been worse. She could have bought him pajamas with cartoons like Simon preferred.

It was tradition to unpack the presents on Christmas morning. Everyone was still in their pajamas (in Alec's and Jace's case, t-shirt and sweatpants) and Alec had had the questionable honor to admire some of these hideousness on several occasions. 

Alec put on his pajama and went to bed. But he was too tired to sleep. He picked up the brochure and started reading. There was a brief insight into the history of the monastery, photos of the monastery garden and the animals. At the end of the brochure Alec found that people were also welcome to take part in the life of the monastery and that every help was welcomed. 

_Ora et labora. I'm supposed to be on vacation here!_

Alec tried to sleep and looked for the switch next to the bed to switch off the light. In vain.

_You aren't serious now! The only light switch is at the door?_

Grumbling, Alec entangled his legs from his duvet and stood up. He hit the light switch and jumped back into bed. Loudly he cursed the monastery and with even more superlatives his sister. 

The bells chimed three bright tones when he had tugged his duvet around him and found a comfortable position.

Four bright blows and ten dull ones.

Alec turned on his side, pulled the covers over his ears, and waited for the sleep to come. 

One bright blow. 

Alec turned around in bed.

Two bright blows. 

Alec pulled the covers back over his ears.

Three bright blows.

Cursing, Alec turned around in bed again.

Four bright blows and eleven dull ones.

Alec prayed for sleep. After all, he was in a fucking monastery, wasn't he?

༺ ∘ ༻

On Tuesday morning, Magnus was sitting in his usual place. He had just finished breakfast and was drinking his second coffee. 

"Morning" he heard a slightly scratchy voice with a New York accent coming from the door.

It was so surreal to hear someone talking in the dining room, then with a familiar accent. Magnus looked up.

The man looked around to orient himself. His eyes fell on Magnus and stuck on him.

Magnus smiled at him. Of course Magnus smiled at him. The man was gorgeous, even though he obviously hadn't had a good night's sleep, judging by the dark circles under his eyes.

Magnus put his index finger on his lips, causing the man to frown.

Magnus winked at him briefly and took a sip of coffee without taking his eyes off the handsome man.

The man narrowed his eyes and turned towards the breakfast buffet. Magnus found it rude to watch other people eat, but couldn't prevent his eyes from straying to the newcomer who was sitting just a few tables away.

The thick black hair and the stubble worked like a magnet on Magnus.

He was wearing fashionable jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. The v-neck had a decorative seam with buttons up to the middle of the chest, which suggested a hint of chest hair.

He was terribly formally dressed for this environment, where everyone wore loose clothing.

Magnus himself wore loose cotton trousers, a knee-length shirt, the sleeves of which he had rolled open. That was his regular outfit for working in the garden and the animals.

The other guests gradually left the dining room. 

When the man finished eating, he pushed his plate away from him, leaned back in the chair, looked out the window, and drank his coffee.

Magnus' coffee cup had been empty for a long time. He didn't want to be caught staring, so he got up to leave. On the way to the exit he glanced at the hansom man. 

Spontaneously Magnus decided otherwise and got a third coffee.

He approached the table where the man was sitting and asked gently, "May I?" 

The stranger looked up in surprise and Magnus delved into breathtaking hazel eyes.

"Of course," came the less scratchy answer at some point. 

Magnus took a seat. "You came here last night?" 

The man nodded. 

Magnus held out his hand. "I'm Magnus." 

"Alec," he said, shaking Magnus' hand.

"It is quite a change when you come here for the first time. Most monks have taken a vow of silence. You get used to it and at some point you understand them without words."

Alec nodded. "So far I've only met two of them. Brother Raphael and the second one I've already forgotten the name of."

"Ah, brother Raphael. Our ray of sunshine from the monastery," Magnus described the abbot with a laugh. "You have to get to know him better, then you realize that he's actually a really nice guy."

Alec uttered a sound of skepticism. He described a circular motion with his index finger that encompassed the entire room. "And there's no talking here during meals?"

"It is exactly like that." Magnus smiled. "You get used to that too." 

Two bright blows chimed from the church steeple.

"That is my sign, I have to leave. We will definitely see each other again. If you have any questions or if I can help you in any way, just come and talk to me."

"I'll do that. Thanks, Magnus."

༺ ∘ ༻

Alec looked after Magnus and slowly let the air escape between his teeth.

_Wow! Just wow!_

Although Jace claims Alec lives like a monk, (which was basically not true, he only had more sense of discretion), he still had eyes in his head. 

Alec was whacked when he went to breakfast. The chimes of the church steeple had repeatedly woken him and prevented him from falling asleep again. Added to this was the time difference. For his body it was still in the middle of the night, not even early morning.

It wasn't so, that he was in a bad mood, but the icy silence of the other guests that greeted him clouded his mood a little. 

Until his eyes fell on a stunningly handsome man who smiled at him and gestured to him to remain silent.

Alec frowned. He hadn't intended to sit down at someone's table without a question and talk to them non-stop. Not even at this man's table, no matter how attractive he was. Not even if he winked at him confidentially.

Alec needed a coffee. And something to eat. But mostly coffee. Ideally, intravenously. 

Alec hoped his surprise hadn't been too obvious when Magnus spoke to him. Up close, he looked a lot more impressive.

He was really nice, helpful. Alec wouldn't mind talking to him more often. Because the question arose for him, what should he do now with his time that was so freely available to him?

Nothing! But how did you do it? How did you do nothing? If Alec had ever known how to do this, doing nothing, he'd long since forgotten.

Otherwise Alec's morning was completely boring. He wandered around the monastery; visited the chapel; went into the meditation room; roamed the monastery garden, always on the desperate search for inner inner calmness.

Finally the bells ring for lunch. Alec would never have thought that he would ever actually see meals gratefully as an activity and not just as ingestion. 

This time he kept the silence. He nodded briefly to Magnus, who appeared for lunch sometime after him.

After lunch he went back to his room. He glanced at his schedule, which was on the mini table next to the bed. Thank goodness he has an entry for this afternoon. 

Another morning like that and he would go crazy. He dreaded the next three weeks. 

In his calendar, would like to cross out every single day that he managed to get through. But he didn't have a calendar. He didn't even have a watch. He only had those fucking bells of the damn church steeple.

Alec lay down on the bed to rest, maybe to get some sleep. But the wish remained ambitious. He was wide awake. In New York, he would now come home from jogging, take a shower, have breakfast, and get ready for work.

Nevertheless, he stayed there until he had to change for his course. Izzy packed him one of his favorite jogging pants (the onesthat had been washed out) and several new ... What's are they called? Jazz pants?

Alec took one of them from the closet and put it on.

_Do they have to be so tight?_

It fit, it was the right size, nothing pinched in the crotch or something, but still. Dressed in these jazz pants, Alec felt more naked and bared than without any clothes on his body. He would also have chosen the shirts one or two sizes larger. Although he would have bought simple black shirts, not these breathable, elastic shirts with the colored applications, however discreet they may be.

_God, how am I supposed to relax and find tranquility when I'm permanently fidget at my shirt to cover my privates?_

There was no mirror in Alec's room. Luckily. Because if he could have looked at himself in the mirror beforehand, he wouldn't have left his room.

And would have disinherited Izzy!

༺ ∘ ༻

Brother Raphael went up to Magnus and sat at his table. "Magnus," he greeted him. 

"Raphael. Are you looking for me for the good entertainment or what makes you break your own rules?" Magnus couldn't stop his teasing. 

Raphael rolled her eyes. "Magnus, is it really necessary that I flatter your ego or do you help me out of trouble out of sheer kindness?" 

Magnus grew serious. "What do you need, my friend?"

"Hodge called earlier. He can't run the Qi Gong course today. I have six participants and I don't want to cancel the course." 

"Of course I will take over the course. I know the movements inside out." 

"Thanks, Magnus." 

"You can show me your gratitude tonight at our game of chess."

"I wouldn't hope that far," remarked Brother Raphael dryly. "But you can expect a bottle of the good red wine to stand on the table." 

Only someone who really knew Brother Raphael would notice his slight smile. 

"See you tonight, Magnus." Brother Raphael briefly squeezed Magnus' shoulder and left him. 

༺ ∘ ༻

Alec had looked at the brochure and knew where to go for the Qi Gong. Even if he didn't know what to expect. He was pleased to see that Magnus would also participate. Magnus smiled at him and went up to him.

"I am glad you are participating as well." 

Alec rubbed his chin. "Well, how far you can call it participating will soon be seen. I have never done it before." 

Magnus waved it off. "You'll do great. Nobody expects you to master the movements and breathing exercises perfectly."

Magnus looked around. "I think we can start." 

It surprised Alec that Magnus addressed the group with a few explanatory words that he would be leading the exercises today. Obviously everyone except Alec had done Tai Qi before. Alec tried to mimic Magnus' slow movements.

But he was having some trouble. Not with the movements. Rather, he struggled to focus and avert his gaze away from Magnus' fabulous ass.

༺ ∘ ༻

Magnus had been joyous when Alec joined the group. He noticed that Alec was constantly tugging at the hem of his shirt. Not out of nervousness. Magnus was more likely to guess that he wasn't used to this type of clothing. 

Alec looked fantastic. That body couldn't hide the fact that the man worked out, least of all could he conceal this with his clothes.

That ass was absolutely phenomenal. Alec was very athletic. His movements weren't necessarily fluid and smooth, but rather powerful and energetic, like someone who does martial arts.

Magnus had caught Alec eyeing him one time or another, keeping his gaze on his ass for an inappropriately long time. Magnus would never have complained about that. He liked Alec gawking. 

After Magnus thanked the group for participating, he stayed a little bit in his place. He hoped to be able to exchange a few more words with Alec. In fact, Alec seemed to understand the invitation, because he was approaching Magnus.

"You did well, Alec. What I could see looked very good." 

"Thank you. These slow movements are unusual for me. But I will continue to try the breathing exercises. Maybe they will help me." 

"Have you tried meditation yet?" Magnus pulled a sleeveless hoody over the black tank top. 

"Not yet. I think that's on my agenda for tomorrow." 

"What are you doing today?" asked Magnus. 

"If I knew how to kill time, I would tell you." Alec made a face.

"Then are you free for the rest of the day?" 

When Alec nodded, Magnus continued. "Would you like to come with me? I could offer you some variety." 

An adorable smile appeard on Alec's face. "Yes! Yes, gladly. I'm dying of boredom." 

"All right. Then we'll meet here again in, let's say, fifteen minutes. You should wear something more robustious. "

Magnus and Alec went in search of Brother Enoch, who led them to a large flower bed, where Magnus, now with Alec's help, removed dead flowers and weeds. Magnus confessed to Alec that in the beginning he had the same problems as Alec getting used to monastic life.

But his health was a big motivator. In the meantime he came here regularly and enjoyed the time in the monastery, the calm, the silence in his head, which made it possible for him to regain strength when the crazy everyday life at home will start again.

Magnus told him that finding contemplation in the chaos of the big city with the deadline pressures at work was not easy. But with a lot of practice, he had managed to create small niches of relaxation, even if the inner quiescence didn't always come through meditation.

Alec listened with fascination as Magnus shared stories about his life, job, and friends. He had a warm, soothing voice. Alec had never had a thing for gardening. In Manhattan there weren't many options for him either, except maybe watering his three potted plants more or less regularly.

But to sit here on the soil with Magnus and pluck out what we hoped was weeds, surprisingly relaxed him. 

With Alec's help, Magnus finished much faster than he normally would.

"Do you have enough for today or do you want to do something else?" 

"Depends on the 'something else' I would say." Alec tapped the dirt off his knees. Basically, he didn't mind spending more time with Magnus and was glad that Magnus made a suggestion. 

"Then follow me, I'll show you what the boring monastery life has to offer."

Magnus didn't want to give up Alec's company so quickly. Not only did he have a handsome appearance, he was also very entertaining and intelligent.

Without saying where he was going, Magnus led Alec to the stables of the monastery. They greeted Brother Zachariah, who was busy with his hen house. Magnus went first to the sheep and goats' stable. He checked that there was enough straw and hay for the night and filled the feed troughs with concentrate. Then he did the same in the cowshed.

It was too early to bring the animals into the barn for the night. Magnus sat on the wall that bounded the animal pastures. Alec took a seat next to him. From there, they could observe all the animals in their separate areas. 

Alec was thrilled by the lambs that were born at the beginning of the year and happily hopped around in the meadow.

But he was most impressed by the calves. He sat quietly on the wall and the cows actually dared to come closer at some point so that Alec could scratch their foreheads.

The happy grin that he showed Magnus was open, genuine and free. 

"Do you like it here?" asked Magnus. 

"Yes, I like it here," he replied with a laugh when a cow rubbed her nose on his leg. 

Alec told Magnus about Izzy and Jace, who had actually forced him to come here. And that he had hated the mere idea of a three-week absence from work and couldn't really deal with it yet. The silence was too loud. His thoughts raced, but never came anywhere. He found no rest anywhere. How did you do that? How did you find calmness? 

Magnus listened to him, nodded understandingly, laughed at the anecdotes Alec told. At some point the bells of the church steeple reminded him that he had been sitting here on the wall with Magnus for at least 45 minutes, chatting with him and watching the animals.

And for the first time in years he feels something like calm blooming tenderly inside of him. 

Maybe it wasn't so bad after all to have come here. Maybe this place could help him. Maybe it was Magnus who helped him. Alec had no idea. But it didn't matter as long as it was good for him.

**Author's Note:**

> I have allowed myself a bit of artistic freedom when it comes to departure times in NY and arrival times (incl. time difference) in Europe.  
> I haven't quite covered the subject of this tarot card, at least not as far as Alec is concerned. But he also has three weeks to go, 'to look inward in silence and introspection'. He'll manage it, I'm sure.
> 
> For suggestions and complaints you can find me at  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/Imandras)  
> or  
> [tumblr](https://imandras.tumblr.com)
> 
> #SaveShadowhunters ➰  
> #Shadowhunters 💕


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